Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...
With the sands of the hourglass. So are the days of our lives. I have realized a lot of things the last couple of weeks. I am not who people think I am. It is hard being me. A "big" celeb in a small town. No I am not an ego maniac like a lot of people think, it is just true, I am a celeb in this town and I have to deal with it my own way.
There is so much expected of me. Not only from work, but from friends and people who dont know me but know me from "on the air". It is really hard to give and give and give some more just to make people happy (it is my business to do so) and not get to much in return. Yes there are points and certain things I get over others, but you know what, the ratio of things given to received is about 100 to 1. It gives me much pleasure to do what I do everyday, but some days you get to a breaking point and you just had enough. I have gotten to the breaking point.
It is time to re focus on myself. The true person behind "The Freak". Time to stop chasing women, time to stop drinking all the time, time to loose the weight, time to fix up the house and make it kick ass, time to do everything I need to do in the next couple of months before the new year.
Eating better, working out, medatating next to my kick ass koi pond, shutting out the negative in my life and focusing on the positive. When 2006 rolls around, I think I will be a different person, a better person.
Why have I come to this decision some may ask? Well a lot of it has to do with the female species. Being stood up so many times and going back for more torture has really destroyed me inside. Why do I get stood up all the time? Well that is a question to ask the women. So all of this repeated action on my account and women has turned me internal and just really really ready to change. I am 28, own my own house, have a career and killer job, have great friends (most of the time) and should not be effected by these women. So screw em. I know I am better than that.
Another reason, I think my professional life has gotten worse. I need to be positive at work, put out a better product and better behind the secens. Yes I am #1 in Mid-Days on the #1 rock station in Panama City, but I know I can be better.
Yes I will still do station events, concerts and my softball games. There are a couple of events I have promised to be at, so I will be out for them. Just dont expect me to hang out just for no reason.
I have a 50" widescreen TV, Xbox, Direct Tv and 3 awesome cats. That is where my attention will be at. Them and me.
So keep up with me on New Rock 97X, email thefreak@wyyx.com, myspace: www.myspace.com/thefreak97x or hit me up on XBL: M3TAL PHR33K. | 
